Gripes

As I sit here, stuck in on a Friday night with a bad case of what can only be called the shits (gastrus dehlius), my thoughts turn naturally to the Problem of Evil.  There are two examples of, well, evil is a bit strong, but deep nastiness that I want to talk about this evening. 

The Problem of Evil, as you all know but I have to say just in case like, is the philosophical problem of reconciling the existence of evil with a world created and ruled by a good God.  Hume put it best with these three quietly devestating questions:

"Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able? Then is he impotent. Is he able, but not willing? Then is he malevolent. Is he both able and willing? Whence then is evil?"

There is a whole branch of sophisticated theology dedicated to coming up with a way of answering these questions in a way that both acknowledges evil, which we see around us in the form of wars, Sharon Matthews, sudden audits etc, and the less provable existence of a good God.  It is called Theodicy, and I assure you that the fact that this word sounds like an Anathem style mash up between theology and idiocy is purely co-incidental.  One of the more interesting arguments employed by Theodicy is that evil is required to serve the purpose of a supposed greater good.  For example, evil must exist to enable choice and free will.  (Let's just leave the argument about whether or not that's a greater good alone for the moment.)

All of which is a long winded, half a bottle of red wine when I'm not well, way of saying that I want to talk tonight about two things that are downright nasty but that serve a greater good.  The first is bankers not realising that their world is over, and the second is right wing fuck nuts on the internet.

Bankers first.  

"What are they, Strider?"

"They were once great kings of men.  But Sauron the Deciever gave to them nine Rings of Power. Blinded by their greed, they took them without question, one by one falling into darkness. Now they are slaves to his will. They are the Nazgûl: Ringwraiths, neither living nor dead."

There we have it. The great Kings of Wall St and the City, blinded by greed and fallen into darkness.  All they worked for is cast down.  And yet, they don't seem to have noticed.  The Wall St banks gave out $18 billion in bonuses this past year.  EIGHTEEN BILLION DOLLARS!  That's for the year in which they have destroyed the world financial system, broken most of the bulge bracket and left the rest on Government funded life support (how's that for socialised medicine) and caused untold misery among ordinary people who have now lost their jobs because some fuckwit in an expensive shirt made a horrid mistake.  Unless Bin Laden is paying for the bonuses, I'm not sure they deserve them.  In the UK, banks advertise and recruit and go about their business as if nothing has happened.  The only difference is that they actually do less of the only thing they do that helps, which is lend to businesses.  Other than that, they are cocooned in arrogance.  We have socialised loss and privatised profit and it makes me boil with rage. These monsters are bent to the will of the Adversary and are neither living nor dead.  They cannot live by standing alone and going about their business, yet they are too important to the economy to die and the government is too gutless to actually get it over with and nationalise them.  

The greater good here is the idea of the free market.  The market is flawed, yes, and it is not the answer to everything, but it remains the least worst system we've got.  Free markets don't throw up soviet style warehouses full of left shoes with no right ones to go with them.  They need to be strongly regulated, and yes the commanding heights probably should be state owned, but the general principle probably is a greater good.  Exhibits in favour: Google, Apple, Timothy Taylor Landlord, Lil Wayne records, the Ferrari 250 GT SWB

Aragon for PM, I say, and Gandalf for Chancellor.  Gollum for Archbishop of Canterbury.

Fucknuts second.

Greater good: free speech.  Necessary evil: conservapedia.  I have no doubt that something so one eyed and biased that claims to be even handed is actually evil. That is the hallmark of propaganda across the ages and I'm a Popper fan who believes in the open society.  However, I'm almost prepared to give this website a pass for services to comedy, because it so hilariously biased.  The article on Obama is a masterpiece that I urge you to read.  If you can't be bothered, here are some gems:

The first line of the article is: "Barack Hussein Obama II (allegedly born in Honolulu"  Gotta love that allegedly.  And the use of Hussein, though I have to say I got a thrill when I heard him use that name during the inauguration.  

It gets better: "To announce his trip to Berlin in July 2008, Obama used posters which show a marked similarity to posters of Lenin."

You get the idea.  There are pages about Obama being a Muslim (though as that limp wristed hippy Colin Powell observed, and I may be slightly paraphrasing, "he's not a Muslim, but if he was so what?") of which my favourite allegation is this, because its so hilariously paranoid: 

"(Obama) chose not to use the Bible for his real, private oath (of office)."

So we can laugh, ho ho, in our liberal old world enlightenment way, safe from head bangers who actually believe this shit.  My rage about this, and the reason I'm prepared to use the word evil is that in some Kansas town right now, perhaps a pretty town with barn dances and golden fields of corn like Smallville and a drugstore with cherry pie and a gum-snapping waitress who calls you 'honey', there are children being told that the President of the United States is a closet Muslim who wants to murder children.  This isn't a question of moral relativity - W really was an incompetent idiot who tortured innocent people -  and it makes me happy that the internet also has Tim Kreider and Glen Greenwald and Richard Dawkins.  If evil if a problem, then we have to try and solve it.  Doesn't mean we can, but we can try.

Right.  Got to dash.  

Change we can read

That didn't take long.

Feels good, don't it?

More thoughts later.  

The Fourth Pit of the Eighth Circle

I was now wholly set on looking into the disclosed depth that was bathed with tears of anguish, and I saw folk coming, silent and weeping, through the circular valley, at the pace at which litanies go in this world. As my sight descended deeper among them, each appeared marvelously distorted from the chin to the beginning of the chest; for toward their reins their face was turned, and they must needs go backwards, because they were deprived of looking forward. Perchance sometimes by force of palsy one has been thus completely twisted, but I never saw it, nor do I think it can be. - Dante, The Divine Comedy: Inferno

In his Inferno, Dante gave the dreadful punishment of being made to walk with their heads turned backwards to fortune tellers, diviners and those who attempt for foresee the future.  Its a terrible punishment, but its threat hasn't been very effective in stopping people from making predictions about the future, whether they be right, wrong, or utterly bonkers.  Its not going to stop me either, but I hope that the worst that will happen is that I am merely foolishly wrong, rather than having to spend eternity doing calinsthetics with Mystic Meg.  So, what do I think might happen in 2009?

First up, the economy.

If you have a secret lair, desert island, hollow volcano or means of leaving earth, make use of them now.  This year is going to be very bad.  Its entirely possible that one or more of the clearing banks will end up fully nationalised.  I expect many more famous names to go to the wall this year; suppliers of things that require major cap-ex , middle ranking luxury (the really rich will endure) and anything to do with the building trade to have a particular torrid time.

The Governments arms are increasingly tied by the hoooooge national debt we've run up, so I don't expect a  pump priming programme like the one that Obama has planned for the US. There are still advantages to the mighty greenback, as the yanks are being reminded right now. Having the worlds reserve currency as means of exchange means you can play a bit faster and looser than we can.  Nonetheless, I'd expect more 'quantitative easing', which is central banker speak for printing loads of money and throwing it out of helicopters.  They may chose to used one of the HM Treasury controlled banks to run this.

Speaking of the Obama public works programme, expect it to get much, much bigger. Potentially generationally defining big; think Tennessee Valley Authority or the Hoover Dam, but based on green technology and infrastructure.

Its not beyond the realms of possibility that joining the Euro will look much, much more appealing as the year goes on.  Broon will never have it though.  However, he may well call a general election this year, maybe in the spring before it gets worse and after he's had his photo taken with Barry O outside number ten.  It won't work.  Hopefully we'll have a hung parliament and Vince Cable will get the Chancellor's job.  Worst case scenario: we get the fucking Tories back.  

I appear to have strayed into UK politics there, so let's do US politics next.

Obama will disappoint loads of people.  He's not actually a superhero, despite what Marvel think (how amazingly cool is that Spiderman / Obama fist bump by the way?) and he is a centrist.  And yet, and yet....  He's appointed a cabinet with not just competent people in it, but potentially great people.  He's got a nobel prize winning scientist as Secretary for Energy who's confirmation hearings read like a dream of what you want from a SecEn.  I will disagree with somethings he does, and he will have to play low down and dirty politics (after all, he does it so well) but I expect a pretty good year.  I hope and expect swift leadership on climate change, closing Gitmo, draw down in Iraq and decisive action on healthcare.  I do not expect: huge change in Israel policy (it'll change a bit, but no huge swing), results in Afghanistan, charges brought against Bush and Cheney.  

Sport-wise, I'm going to wind my neck out and say England for the Ashes, then KP will bugger off to the IPL.  United for the league.  Inter or Barca for Big Cup.  Berbatov to wake up and score the goal of the season at some point. Ferrari for F1.  Dunfermline Athletic to finish third in the only competition that matters, the Irn Bru Scottish First Division.

Finally, Apocalypse watch: expect Yellowstone to unzip and blow us all to kingdom come so that the entire midwest looks like something from the Inferno, God help us all.  Expect this to happen the day after I get a girlfriend.  

MMIX

When I turned 21 my Dad took me to one side and shared with me the terrible secret known only to adults.  He didn't beat around the bush.  "Once you've passed 21," quoth he, "time speeds up." 

Silly old sod, I thought.  But God help me, he was right.  In a small way it only seems a fortnight since last I blogged, but the cold hard facts tell me that was the 20th of November.  Christmas has come and gone.  Hogmanay must have happened.  I'm back at work and it sucks, sucks, sucks.  I've spent the last two days at the place of toil staring into space with (to quote the great Mark Twain) the 'deep, deep, subtle, subtle expression of a bladder' upon my phiz.  Christ.

So, gentle reader, you have been spared my half baked ideas on the mysteries of Christmas and my musings on the latest tottering steps the economy takes towards its doom.  Instead, may I present The Andys, my awards for the men, women, events and beasts of 2008.  

The So, Farewell Then award for the dearly missed.

Tim Krieder, of The Pain - When Will It End?  He's not dead, thank God, but having waged cartoon based war against the Bush administration for $20 a week, he's off to do something else for a bit.  Have a look at the archives on his site and have a good nose around.  You won't be disappointed.  For example, the 30 July 2008 'Lost Secrets of the Ancient Americans' is heartbreaking, enraging and funny all at once.

The artists statements are as good as the cartoons too.

The 'Get it Right Up Yous!" Moment of the Year

While I'm tempted to say Barack being elected or Lehman going bust or something equally seismic, for me its actually England's Brave John Terry missing his penalty in Moscow, and so by his agency  Manchester United winning the European Cup 50 years after Munich.  If Terry hadn't wanted to be the big man and win it for his wretched little club they might actually have done it, but good triumphed, evil was overcome and Bobby Charlton was serene in his heaven.  

I know describing the red evil empire of Manchester United as 'good' could be pushing it, but in football it is a relative concept.

The Couldn't Hit An Elephant From This Distance award for misplaced optimism

All economic commentators up until about September.  

The Sarah Palin award for dragging the very thing that you claim to love through the dirt and if there was any justice Thomas Jefferson and George Washington would rise from their mighty tombs and come crashing through the windows of your house, the dirt of the grave falling from their yellow peeling skin and rictus skull smiles and rip you limb from wretched limb while screaming Tyranny, Tyranny! so that the last thing that passed though your diseased evil twisted little mind (apart from Washington's axe) was the knowledge that not only had you failed but you had betrayed your country and that Hell awaited you Award, goes too...

George W. Bush.  And Sarah Palin.

Happy New Year folks!  

Next time, what's going to happen in 2009?  Is the supervolcano better than the credit crunch? Etc!